By how the people I “helped” seemed invariably to eventually wander away from me and forget about our interaction altogether…but what I slowly came to terms with was that this is the natural way of these types of relationships.
These healing relationships.
Our shared pain brought us together and gave us an avenue to relate to each other through, a road that we could walk on together as we talked out the mutual distaste for the world and its inhabitants. But those relationships were destined to end…These people were not my friends; these people used me because they needed someone. And I, them; I am no innocent. Though, none is at fault; this is simply the way of such pains and the benefit of community: to bring us together at times of greatest need. And this way we survive.
Oh, I am no stranger to the world: I am not unfamiliar with the phenomenon of how simply—not how quickly, but how simply—people will just float out of your bubble of the universe and into another, never to be seen again on the same side of a computer screen.
And I was discouraged because I thought that these two driftings were the same, but I have since realized that my experience with the people who wandered down dark streets with me is special. I think I forgot about the reality of the counseling relationship. It is the goal of the counselor to become obsolete to the client. I know, I know, calling twenty-something college kids counselors to each other is both grandiose and warped, but there are strong similarities in the way we related to each other. And in any case…it helps. I cannot decide to look at these as failed relationships anymore with good, beautiful, broken humans. So we were not friends. We were clients, each of us. In this way, I have come to appreciate my luck to have known them at all because at the end of the century, I will recall their stories from this harsh beginning. Life may never have otherwise brought us together besides through our tandem hardship.
I think my frustration with this has caused my time on tumblr to dwindle into nothing…but hopefully this realization will catalyze me into a renewed effort. I do not think I am going to attempt to force this osmosys into anything it is not anymore. There are many many good great sites with strong follower bases. I am going to plug myself into one of those (more on this later…), and I will continue osmosys for the few, for the one or two who may take refuge in what this is. It is a call to action but it is not a mass effort…I wrote this way in the beginning as well. Ideas spread best from one person to another over a cup of coffee a week for a few years. Through osmosis. Pure unadulterated contact with someone. So these are mine. This site, this place. This is how mike lives his life, and I believe in its virtues still.
We can still talk. Please email me. My email is floating around this website in a few places still…